Where Did Our Championship Go?

Is it me? Or is this the shortest celebration of a major championship in sports history? I mean, the Lakers. It lasted four days. Then the speculation about Phil Jackson coming back....a three peat....Great ogly moogly...that's a year away! But it seems like all the talk and emotion is already focused on the next one. I bought a copy of Sports Illustrated just to relive it a little. Cover story; "Why Kobe Bryant Needs Phil Jackson To Win Another Championship". Well, thank you Mr. Buzz Kill.

Sigh. I'm still going to try to enjoy this for a while. But as for the future...how about this? Talk Phil into coaching one more season at whatever it costs. And hire Byron Scott as assistant coach and Head Coach In Waiting.

But regardless... there has to be a part of Kobe that dreams of doing the one thing Michael Jordan never did; winning an NBA Championship without Phil Jackson.

Besides. If Kobe and Bynum are healthy...Ron Artest doesn't get any more insane...and Phil comes back....where's the drama we're addicted to as Lakers fans?

Just trying to help.

Golf Etiquitte

Because of Tiger Woods...a lot of people who don't regularly follow golf watched the Masters. And I wanted to clear up some terms. Like when they talk about "The guy on the bag"....that's the caddy.

The guy in the bag? That's John Daly after the post tournament party.

Tiger's Big Helpers

Leave it to the British Tabloid "The Sun" to give us the real scoop on Tiger Woods. Seems his folks have hired extra bodyguards for Masters Week. And their main job is to keep alleged mistresses from crashing Augusta and making a scene. They've been given photographs of 11 women...especially the former Porn Star.

So one bodyguard goes up to an attractive fan and says, "Excuse me, Ma'am. Are you the stripper?"

Uh. She wasn't. Stay classy, Team Tiger.

Making It Rain

By now, you've heard the story: the Republican National Committee...getting heat.... for reimbursing a donor two thousand dollars ....for a party at a Hollywood Strip Club. On the bright side....the RNC has been awarded an NBA Franchise

Becoming Mr. Relevant

The last player pick in the draft is known as "Mr. Irrelevant"...a promotion started back in 1976 when the good folks of Newport Beach decided to invite him for a weekend celebration figuring it would be his one time in the Sun.

Not so for South Carolina kicker Ryan Succop... the 256th and final pick of the draft. Yesterday he kicked the winning field goal in overtime. The Chiefs upset the Steelers 27-to-24.

And yes. His last name is "Suck-up"...and he had to learn to fight at an early age. And his whole life he will have to hear..."So that's how you got the job."

The Little Lady Chimes In

The pressure is growing for 80 year old Bobby Bowden to retire as the end of the season. He wants to coach one more year.

Now his wife Anne has weighed in; saying..."You know, we don't need the university as much as they need us. If they want to pull that trick...we'll just shake the dirt off our feet and go to Europe or go on a long cruise or something."

And she adds..."They'll have to fire him for him not to go another year. If they've got guts enough to do it....let them do it."

Bobby probably said, "Dahlin'. 'precciate your support. But let's just leave it alone now."

Deer Hunting the Easy Way

And Mark Bree of Viroqua in Southwest Wisconsin landed a seven point buck...without leaving the house. He wasn't even deer hunting. He found the deer dead on his lawn....after he had apparently mistaken a concrete elk lawn statue for the real thing. And smashed heads and antlers. The deceased weighed 180 pounds. The buffed and bulked lawn ornament weighs 640!

Bambi gave it his best shot. The statue was lying on its side.


Can't make this up. It became legal when the game warden tagged it with "Lawn Ornament Fight. Dash. Lost."

An Attack On King James Court

Cavaliers superstar LeBron James has ripped Browns wide receiver Braylon Edwards for allegedly assaulting a friend of his outside a Cleveland bar. LeBron's buddy is 5-7. He says the the 6-3, 215 pound Edwards knew it was his friend. And punched him because he is jealous of LeBron.

Out of habit...David Letterman apologized for the incident.

Wedding Bell Blue

Now the Web Site TMZ still insists Lamar and Khloe aren't legally married. They're still working on the pre-nuptual agreement.

I wonder if Lamar has any incentive clauses.?

Not going there.

Ochocinco Strikes Again

Remember Sunday how Bengals wide receiver Ocho-Cinco..(his legal name)...made good on his promise to leap into the end zone-stands in Green Bay if he scored a touchdown? And what were the odds there were three Bengals fans there to catch him? Pretty good. He had twittered that he would like some friendly folks there to cover him. The trio volunteered. Ocho got them tickets.

There was only one incident. Mike Bergs says...."I got punched by a girl! How embarrassing is that?"

Actually, Mike. In Los Angeles that usually costs extra so you got a bargain.

That Whacky New Laker

You would think Ron Artest would want people to forget that night in 2004 when he went into the stands in suburban Detroit... after a guy that threw beer at him. He was with the Pacers at the time. And set off a brawl that got him suspended for the season.
But no. He used his twitter network to locate the beer chunker; His name is John Green. But Ron wasn't looking to resume the brawl....but to bury the hatchet.

Ron says they "vibed"... and will probably travel around the country doing urban outreach for inner city kids.

I'm sure they'll appear on talk shows. But Ron. Larry. I'd avoid the "Jerry Springer Show."

Thank Goodness No One is Trivializing the Michael Vick Situation

Not everyone is forgiving Michael Vick his association with dog fighting.
"Main Line Animal Rescue" in Washington says every time Vick is tackled during the Redskins game with the Eagles October 26th...they will donate five bags of dog food to an Animal Rescue Shelter.
And urges people to volunteer at a shelter on game day... perhaps even "hugging a homeless pit bull."
Yeah. What could possibly go wrong with that?

The Punch Wasn't The Big Thing

Naturally, the sports talk shows were a-buzz with the sucker punch from Oregon running back LeGarrette Blount Thursday night after the Boise State loss. A sold blow to the jaw of Boise State defensive end Byron Hout that was caught on instant replay. And replayed. And replayed. And replayed. Yesterday, Blount was suspended for the rest of his senior season. And all the debate centered on "was it warranted?" Because of the punch...no. If it ended there...an indefinte suspension with guidelines to be met before he returns. Because it was in the heat of the moment and Hout clearly taunted him (After Bount trash talked all week about how the were going to spank Boise State). And Hout should be disciplined to a lesser degree.

But the punch was secondary to four security guards having to hold back Bount from going into the stands after some taunting Boise State fans. Imagine the nightmare scenerio if they weren't already all over him. He goes into the stands. Yeah, big strong guy. But he is greatly outnumbered. Other fans come from other parts of the stadium to get into the melee. The rest of the Oregon team rushes to his aid. Full scale soccer riot!!!

It's going to happen here someday. Remember the legenday Ron Artest episode in 2004. That could have been a lot worse had it not been at the end of a blowout game and the stands were already emptying. And NBA Commissioner David Stern still suspended Artest for the rest of the season.

The only problem with the Boise incident. No snappy name. The Pacer-Pistons incident at the palace in Auburn Hills, Michigan...easy. "Malace at the Palace". Discuss

Why Is Manny Sleepwalking?

There is a reason the Red Sox paid the Dodgers millions to take him off their hands. There's a reason no one but the Dodgers offered him a big contract in the off season. He's a spoiled, petulant child. When everyone is cheering him, the precocious side comes out like it did at the end of last season. When he's sent to his room for 50 games for cheating, he sulks. And when he sulks, he loafs. The fans boo. And Manny sulks some more.

And there's always the 'roid issue. One of the boosts it gives you is confidence. He's not the deepest thinker in the world. So if this latest slump has his wondering if he'll ever perform at that high level again (something he never worried about before), he's likley to rationalize that he could still do all the things he used to if he tried. But people are being too mean to him.

Either way, in my humble opinion, it's his last hurrah in a Dodgers' uniform.

Dog Days

Former Colts coach Tony Dungy has become Michael Vick's personal mentor... trying to help him stay out of trouble. After seeing photos of Vick drinking in a bar, Tony said... "Michael, you can't do that."

Then he said..."Sit. Now play dead."

As The Race Car Turns

The latest on driver Jeremy Mayfield and his estranged...to say the least..step mother. She's been arrested for tresspassing on his property. And allegedly slugging a caretaker. This after Mayfield was suspended after testing positive for meth-amphetamines...following testimony from Lisa Mayfield that she had seen him use the drug 30 times...which prompted him to accuse her of killing his father.

This is either a sad disintegration of a family. Or a Fox reality show. We're not sure.

Dog Fight-aholic?

Even though it seems every angle has been wrung out the Michael Vick story that can be, there actually is one that's being missed; the nature of addiction. Setting aside (just briefly), the horrific nature of what is going on...studies of addiction...even those that don't involve substance abuse...show a change in brain cells. It's basic. We're wired to attach to pleasure and avoid pain. Over time, the mind adjusts to the high (gambling, etc) to the point that withdrawal is as painful as drugs. Vick admits he has been following dog fights since he was nine years old. That's a long time for the pleasure to become ingrained. He has gotten a rush from it through his formative teen years and all his adult years.

So the argument isn't is he sincere when he says he will never do anything like this again. All addicts say it and mean it. But we all know of people, perhaps intimately, who had every reason to quit...it was ruining their lives....and yet they couldn't. An example is Texas Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton. A man who became a folk hero for overcoming terrible addiction. throwing away a multi-million dollar career...then getting it back. Only to be at a bar in January, get drunk with pictures that make the internet. It's a slip. Not the end of his recovery. And not to suggest Michael Vick can't make a recovery from his addiction. But just making a conscious decision to change; even recognizing what's at stake isn't enough. If it were....there would be no need for 12 step meetings. If Vick isn't being couseled as an addict...the lust will still be there. A part of him can see the error of his ways...even sympathize with the animals. But a more powerful part of him still has lust for "the game". He may avoid it until his playing career is over. But it will never fully go away. Knowing you have a problem is indeed half the battle. If you know and accept exactly what that problem is.

The Fickle Finger

Never an off season for news about the Lakers.

Pau Gasol suffered a broken left middle finger practicing with the Spanish National Team. He's had surgery and is out for three weeks.

That's his non-shooting hand. And, except for walking around New York, you can get by without the use of your middle finger.

Jose Cuervo, You Were a Friend of Mine

Titans running back LenDale White dropped 30 pounds in the off season. And he did it with the "Tequila Diet". Now before you get your hopes up...he QUIT drinking Tequila. The former USC star admits he loved slam 'em down but went on the wagon and is now a svelte 229 pounds.

When you are drinking so much tequila that it adds thirty pounds to your frame...your problem might not be diet.

Oh Roy, Oh Roy. Are You The Answer

With the bidding reaching stimulus proportions for Toronto pitcher Roy Halliday...just one thing that hasn't been talked about. We know he's a great pitcher in the regular season. But what if he's not one in the post season? Lots of Hall of Famers couldn't duplicate their success in the post season.

Not saying he would be a bust. But there is no way to tell if he is one of those who raises his game along with everyone else. He's never pitched in the post season. And being the star pitcher for the Toronto Blue Jays is practically baseball's equivilent of the witness protection program. What if a team mortgages the future for "Doc" and it turns out he doesn't flourish under the microscope of the big games?

Just wondering.