Golf Etiquitte

Because of Tiger Woods...a lot of people who don't regularly follow golf watched the Masters. And I wanted to clear up some terms. Like when they talk about "The guy on the bag"....that's the caddy.

The guy in the bag? That's John Daly after the post tournament party.

Tiger's Big Helpers

Leave it to the British Tabloid "The Sun" to give us the real scoop on Tiger Woods. Seems his folks have hired extra bodyguards for Masters Week. And their main job is to keep alleged mistresses from crashing Augusta and making a scene. They've been given photographs of 11 women...especially the former Porn Star.

So one bodyguard goes up to an attractive fan and says, "Excuse me, Ma'am. Are you the stripper?"

Uh. She wasn't. Stay classy, Team Tiger.

Making It Rain

By now, you've heard the story: the Republican National Committee...getting heat.... for reimbursing a donor two thousand dollars ....for a party at a Hollywood Strip Club. On the bright side....the RNC has been awarded an NBA Franchise

Becoming Mr. Relevant

The last player pick in the draft is known as "Mr. Irrelevant"...a promotion started back in 1976 when the good folks of Newport Beach decided to invite him for a weekend celebration figuring it would be his one time in the Sun.

Not so for South Carolina kicker Ryan Succop... the 256th and final pick of the draft. Yesterday he kicked the winning field goal in overtime. The Chiefs upset the Steelers 27-to-24.

And yes. His last name is "Suck-up"...and he had to learn to fight at an early age. And his whole life he will have to hear..."So that's how you got the job."

The Little Lady Chimes In

The pressure is growing for 80 year old Bobby Bowden to retire as the end of the season. He wants to coach one more year.

Now his wife Anne has weighed in; saying..."You know, we don't need the university as much as they need us. If they want to pull that trick...we'll just shake the dirt off our feet and go to Europe or go on a long cruise or something."

And she adds..."They'll have to fire him for him not to go another year. If they've got guts enough to do it....let them do it."

Bobby probably said, "Dahlin'. 'precciate your support. But let's just leave it alone now."

Deer Hunting the Easy Way

And Mark Bree of Viroqua in Southwest Wisconsin landed a seven point buck...without leaving the house. He wasn't even deer hunting. He found the deer dead on his lawn....after he had apparently mistaken a concrete elk lawn statue for the real thing. And smashed heads and antlers. The deceased weighed 180 pounds. The buffed and bulked lawn ornament weighs 640!

Bambi gave it his best shot. The statue was lying on its side.


Can't make this up. It became legal when the game warden tagged it with "Lawn Ornament Fight. Dash. Lost."

An Attack On King James Court

Cavaliers superstar LeBron James has ripped Browns wide receiver Braylon Edwards for allegedly assaulting a friend of his outside a Cleveland bar. LeBron's buddy is 5-7. He says the the 6-3, 215 pound Edwards knew it was his friend. And punched him because he is jealous of LeBron.

Out of habit...David Letterman apologized for the incident.